You still have a lot to learn, kid

The first time I showed my choreography to my students, they watched with some confusion. Later, my translator admitted to me he didn't really understand what was going on. Where were the shapes, he wanted to know, that tell you what is going in the story?

I wasn't sure what to say. Cambodian dance is such that each hand position, each shape has its own meaning, a kind of shared cultural language that people use to tell the story. I said, well -- there are no shapes. It's how you do the movement that makes the difference.

I guess, he said, it's dancing from the heart.

Just one difference among thousands between the two art forms. Okay, I thought, so the fusion I want to make has to reflect both ideas.

But today I had a conversation that made me realize that it's not just how you do the movement that differentiates the two cultures. It's also how you present it.

This idea I have to "produce" something is, apparently, a very, very western way of looking at things. The idea of fusion is maybe not as much, but going into something with the goal of performing, a final product in a professional venue -- doesn't that, my lunch meeting partner remarked, sort of take away from the process itself?

My instinct was to say no, of course  not, and what's the point of doing something if you don't have anything to show for it at the end?

I guess if I'm serious about this fusion thing, it can't just be in the movement -- but how it's presented, how the process is approached. I still intend to show it somehow, but I have to put that aside in order to really truly go into the development process with an open mind. What comes will come, and neither I nor any of my collaborators should have a final result in mind to cloud the creative process.

Yes, I keep having these breakthroughs, I keep learning, and then I find out that I still have so much more to learn, and so many cultural habits to let go of. Things I don't even think of as being western brand me as other before I even understand why, but at least -- thank god -- people keep reminding me, and helping me see exactly how far I have to go.

And this is just the beginning.