Tuesday Night Chatter

I think the most intelligible thing I can say tonight is that I'm tired.

I was supposed to be up at 8:15 for a skype call, but was instead awake at 7:30 -- I was dozing when a friend called to discuss travel plans, or in this case, the lack thereof for the long weekend. Since then I've been straight on one thing to the next. I spent an hour with my Khmer tutor and remember exactly nothing of what I actually learned.

Or didn't learn as I guess the case is.

I also had an espresso after 4pm yesterday, which is a no-no. It kicked in around 11pm, at which point I gave up trying to sleep and started talking to myself out loud, working out with my ceiling how to resolve various issues with various projects that cropped up yesterday.

The ceiling didn't have much to say, but it was a good listener.

I spent a good deal of the day -- this is an exaggeration, but it feels like it -- trying to worm a straight answer out of a stubborn French woman as to the specifics of a grant I am in charge of getting, and managed to achieve exactly nothing besides (probably) make her think that I am an idiot, when in fact I just think she is an idiot. Mutual idiot-thinking does not get anything done, naturally, so now I have no choice but to continue as if I know exactly what's going on and assume that her "jury of experts" will just have to deal if there is one detail off.

That is not a very good way of going about things. I just thought -- wow, is this a commentary on today's world of everyone knowing everything always -- that any future employers will use this against me in the recruiting process. "You wrote on your blog on October 9th yada yada which shows that you blame things on other people." Well -- hey, good thing I'm planning to employ myself, huh??

Ahem. That was embarrassing, however, I think I am going to eschew (I can't believe I just used that word, and probably incorrectly...) taking responsibility for anything I say tonight. Fortunately for you, you get to be on the receiving end of such synaptic vomit. Aren't you lucky.

Yeah, so I'm back to being poor, after a month of walking around with dollar signs in my eyes, as I willfully deluded myself into thinking I was being paid twice as much as I actually am - oops - which I've heard is the reason why lotteries ruin people's lives. So I have plenty enough to live off and that's all I need, I guess. Note to self ---- don't do the above anymore. It's silly.

Had yesterday what my dad would call a case of the "Things aren't following my script", thanks to hitting some resistance about the public performance project, notably the venue asking for rent when it was supposed to be free, and some various other annoyances I won't get into here. It made me very whiny indeed, and I suppose the argument could be made it still is. I think it will be better by the end of this week, as this week is just too much for its own good.

Don't mind me just staring at the wall for the rest of the night....