August 16th, 2010

T Minus -- I don't want to think about it. I still have to worry about packing and that's terrifying enough on its own, without everything else that goes with it -

I cannot think today. It's been -- I think -- 11 straight days without an off day and all but two of them required me to be awake at 6 (the other two I got to sleep until 8, big whoop). Since then I worked essentially three jobs, one unpaid and highly stressful (but nonetheless rewarding), ran around, biked a lot, and despite getting enough sleep -- for the most part -- it's been an all out war to get out of bed the last two mornings. Along with the fact that it's dark now at six, which I disagree with. I already lodged my complaint with god, so no worries.

Today not even coffee and a lot of sugar could wake me up. I've been a zombie all day. I found myself reading the newspaper in the wait station, and finally looked up and noticed no one was there, and went out and saw I had two tables to be bussed -- it was like I'd just gone off to another planet for several minutes, no awareness whatsoever of where I was and what I was supposed to be doing. Thankfully it was slow, or we'd all have been in terrible trouble. I tried to put napkins in the trash at one point, too, lost track of what I was doing reliably once every half hour, and yeah. I think it's probably because I'm so tired, but I was also worrying the Entire Morning, which is really stupid and gets you nowhere, but that's what I was doing, so whatever. Things look worse when you can't think straight.

These last couple weeks -- days almost now -- I'm trying to catch up with a bunch of people because I thought I had all this time and suddenly I don't. Last night Hilary and I had pizza with our friend Janet, which was lovely. I also had coffee with my Brazilian co-worker -- he is a video producer (used to be a journalist in Brazil), and is working on an online video magazine for Asheville, so he was showing me all of his work so far and we were talking about how he might go about getting it off the ground. Also caught up via telephone with a few other friends in the past week, so that's been really nice. It's hard to keep in touch with people and I'm very bad about it as it is, so it's always good when I remember and when I actually get to chat with all those wonderful people who are a part of my life.

Another co-worker sent me a quote the other day, from Kurt Vonnegut, which I love -- "In Bokonon, it is written that 'peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.'" I think it's beautiful and fantastic and I do hope that I get my own dancing lessons.

The other day after Terpsicorps opening night - which, to everyone's surprise, went fantastically -- Raj and I went wandering into downtown and by chance ran into a high school friend of his mom at Pasana, and ended up hanging out with her and an elderly gentleman who was with her. It was absolutely fantastic -- they were wonderful people, very kind, and interactions like that remind me why I still have faith in humans. They did seem to think I had a lot of energy, which I found kind of funny, because I was really dead that day from work and a stressful afternoon rehearsal. Ah well, at least I fake well, right?

In any case, I'm leaving Asheville a week from Wednesday. There. I said it. Yikes. Yay.

Until next time.