I'm graduating in May. I think I've probably mentioned that. I certainly talk about it a lot -- I'm sure you've noticed, and can't wait until it happens so you can stop hearing about it.
Well, I talk about it because I can't stop thinking about it. What does it mean to transfer from the world of academics to the Real World? To be a "real person"? To live, to have time, to support yourself with the work you do?
It's a huge, giant, and pretty scary transition. I've spent 21 years in school, being schooled, etc. It's the only thing I know how to do. And now I, along with my classmates and countless others, must enter the world as it is and are somehow expected to live competently.
I'm not unique in going into the arts; however, I am one of few. In today's world, it seems like career suicide. The arts are dying, and the economy is already bad. How do I expect to make it Out There?
Well, how should I know?
I've noticed something that goes on in my head. I get a lot of e-mails about arts administration internships for the summer, most of which seem to be with reputable companies doing interesting work. I also get a lot of advice to go into teaching. And while I understand the reasoning behind both paths, and why it would probably be a Good Idea for me to pursue either or both options---
I don't.
Whyever not? Something in my chest just protests whenever I think about it. I had a dream, sometime last semester, in which I was wailing about not getting to go to a ball -- "I want to dance!" I remember waking up with that cry echoing in my ears.
No--I don't want to produce shows that I should be dancing in/choreographing, and I don't want to teach people to do what I should be doing myself.
Sometimes I think I really should consider it, just as a part-time solution. And then the screaming comes back. No, it says. Do what you want. What you love. And don't make compromises.
I'm either stupid, or a visionary.
I guess we'll find out a few years from now.
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