First day at the Renaissance yesterday. I am serving/bussing/room servicing/hostessing; essentially I am doing whatever needs to get done, and doing it incredibly early in the morning. Put it this way: a 7am start time is actually sleeping in. When I'm doing room service, my shift starts at 5:45. I haven't had one of those yet but I'm sure it's coming.
Apartment is more furnished than it was, now outfitted with shoes, books, and quotables, adding a little spark and colors to our lives. I can't live without color, by the way. We are still in desperate need of a couch, but we bought one yesterday from Habitat for Humanity, along with a chair and an ottoman, for $135. Not too bad. I was kind of hoping for a $30 job but I guess there is something to be said for having something that looks clean and not like a thousand butts have made their home there. We still need to make a run to Target and Sam's club, most notably for lamps and a bed frame, but once the couch is in the house (assuming it fits) and its ugly upholstery is covered by a sheet or something, things will be looking up. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CAN STOP SPENDING SO MUCH GODDAMN MONEY.
Ahem.
So yesterday I discovered that in order to get a visa you have to have proof of residence in the jurisdiction of the French consulate; i.e. a driver's license from NC. I don't HAVE a North Carolina driver's license. However, my dad says there is such a thing as a North Carolina identification card, so hopefully that will work. Otherwise heads will roll. As my mom said, rather unhelpfully the other day, if I get to Paris, I will have totally earned it. I say, yes, harumph, that is the case.
I spent most of last night with a friend I met contra dancing, hanging out on a porch and watching the sunset and the fireflies come out of the grass where they apparently sleep all day. I have a confession: I adore fireflies. I am completely fascinated by them. I also realized this morning that last night is the pace I want to go this summer, and I am sooo far away from it. Even three weeks (or a thousand years) removed from New York, I am still ticking along at the pace of the subways. I want things to happen, things to do, it's like I must be flapping my wings to live, hummingbird style (I know, I know, hummingbirds don't die if they sit down).
And honestly? I don't want to do that anymore. Over the course of my sophomore year, I took 44 credits, performed in 4 shows, worked 2 jobs and 15 hrs/wk at an internship. Overachieving is a way of life; I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. I take on the world regularly because I know I can handle it and only find out later that just because you can doesn't mean you should. But I want to stop for the summer and just find out what it's like to live during the moments and not worry so much about the cracks between THIS and THAT; I have the feeling life happens in the cracks and not in the points.
But I am SOOOO bad at doing that. I mean, you have no idea. So that is my project for the summer: slow down. Read. Write. Hang out at the pool. Work during the days. Let life move on with me, not behind me. Let each moment be handed to me instead of grabbing for it.
If I am to teach the world to live, I must first learn myself.
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