About four years ago, I was talking to someone in France and telling him all about my plans for life (which no doubt resemble nothing of what I currently think about it). He was very enthusiastic and supportive, but near the end of the conversation, he said something I haven't been able to shake since.
He said, I had the passion and the drive to do everything, but he could see one thing that would stop me: falling in love, and having my heart broken.
In the years since, this has somehow become Truth for me. Love gets in the way, love derails dreams. Just don't fall in love, and you're fine.
It's a view that falls nicely into the Modern World, Modern Woman that's gotten all over everything. Whoever you are, if you are not succeeding or going forward with your career at every moment, then you are going backwards. While it's not all feminists saying so, the connotations of the "you don't need a man" sometimes careen into "you shouldn't need anyone."
There is nothing wrong with succeeding or going forward with your career. But life is more than work. There are angles and corners that need attention too.
I've had to rewrite each sentence here more than once because I keep second-guessing myself and thinking, well that's not a bad thing, but the fact of the matter is, whether or not I should have or not, I fell in love. And ever since, that guy from France has been chattering in my ear, full of dire warnings and fear, and I'm getting totally sick of it.
So I'm letting it go. I don't want that Truth anymore. Life is never a set of rules, a follow-this-and-you'll-get-this, and I'm pretty sure that love doesn't derail dreams, it is the stuff of dreams. I will always be me, and always go forward with what I love and what I want from life.
I was about to launch into a big, rational argument for why this is okay and why I'll still be -- but you know what, never mind.
I'm just going to say this: Truth is not always true, life is very big, and love is an amazing thing.
And leave it at that.
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