If you can think of a problem, it's happening. If you can think of a way to challenge me, it's happening. Culturally. Linguistically. Artistically. Many more "lys" that I can't think of right now.
Whether it's being given the wrong music and then asked to prepare three songs within thirty minutes, or being told that people are anxious because expectations are not being met, that things need to be better and they need to get better fast, that my upcoming trip could potentially cost me a job if things fall apart --
It's happening.
Okay, challenge taken.
Next week is the "official launch" of my dance team and I have been asked -- within a week -- to prepare something as good as Beyoncé's Super Bowl performance. I have also been asked to up the ante to make myself irreplaceable, so if things fall apart when I'm gone a potential replacement will have problems matching what I've already done.
If you can dream it, it's happening. No wonder I've lost 4 kilos in a month. I don't sleep well, I think about this stuff. Eating is just something that I kind of need to do every so often.
Damn it. I am 22 years old, with only a few endeavours under my belt, and now I am in an alien culture, working in an alien medium (television) in a different language, with different expectations and ways of doing things, and I am this lone borohte under a microscope and any wrong move I make, I'm done. I'm being watched, evaluated, questioned, challenged.
Really though.
What the hell am I doing here?
I know the answer to that question. I'm being put through the fire, because if I make it through, I'll be pure steel.
(If I make it through.)
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