So I spend all my time whining about how I don't like January and February, and then they do me the disservice of making me look like an idiot and whipping on by. At least the last couple weeks -- suddenly it's February 8th and the worst month of the year is 1/4 over.
I suppose it may be because I have been absolutely determined not to let the blues get me down -- I am in Paris, and thus do not consider it legitimate to mope about for two months. I've been pretty careful to keep my head in a good place and catch it whenever it gets off on one of its "I hate this time of year" rants.
It helps that the sun is coming out.
My host mom says that it's normal to have the first signs of Spring now, which, as a Colorado native growing up at 8200 feet above sea level and thus having spring sometime in late May, this is utterly bizarre to me. It seems far too early to even consider spring, but I sure hope she's right. Warmer weather and sunshine would be a-okay with me.
Of course, thanks to the temperature changes I have a lovely head cold and am somewhat in pain at the moment, but there you go. I'm still in Paris, and what's more....
I'm staying here until the end of July.
Yes you heard right. I asked a friend and got an offer to share an apartment for the summer, which means that my dream of celebrating my birthday in Paris and generally getting to see Paris in the summer is coming true. I'm going to work on finding a job, doing what I don't know yet, but we'll see. The point is, I'm here for the summer. I leave in August because there are people that I must see before I go back to New York in the fall, and I think I've gotten to the point where I know it will be the perfect time here and the perfect time to leave. Of course, I may always come back -- but that's too far away. As I've been learning to do this year -- sort of forced to learn -- I'm trying to live inside now.
One other big piece of news for the week is that this past saturday, thanks to Anne, I presented a solo - my own choreography - at a gala benefiting an association called 'Virades de l'espoir" and fights against a rare genetic respiratory disorder. It was a trip -- and I mean that in a couple different ways. The venue was in St Rèmy les Chevreuse, about an hour away on the RER train, so it's not really "à côté" as they say here, aka nearby. Also because my solo was about as different to the choreography of every other group there as Santa is to the Grinch BEFORE the Who's start singing. The other groups were all large in number, used music with a heavy dance electronic kind of beat, was just endless sharp movement, all performed facing the audience. There were a couple pieces that were the most formulaic pieces of dance I think I have ever seen.
To be fair, there was one piece that was really, really well done -- it was a mix of African and hip hop, and while I can't figure out what it was about it that made it so good, it had a emotional content, an intensity, and was just really well put together and staged.
However, I have to say that I felt pretty out of place -- my solo was really good, don't get me wrong, it's been worked on so much, but it's just a more subtle kind of dance that plays with energy and tension and suspension and release, and isn't the bang bang crowd pleasing kind of thing that was all over the place otherwise. I was pretty nervous -- it's been a LONG time since I danced a solo and it was my debut as a choreographer as well. It went well, I suppose, but there was just something kind of lacking...a kind of connection with the audience that is really important for me. It was just like, I danced, people clapped, and that was it -- but not the life-sparking, intoxicating connection that happened the other night at the Elysée Montmartre.
But there you have it, it was cool in any case.
So in general, what am I doing these days?
I'm teaching -- a lot. Three days a week I'm at the high school, one day I have private lessons. On the one day I'm not teaching English, I'm helping my dance prof at Paris 7 teach a class called "danse création". At the high school, I've ditched the idea of just bringing in a subject and talking about it -- that just doesn't work at all. Instead, we've been having debates, or, more popular, doing some roleplay. I write a scenario on a slip of paper and they imagine a conversation or sketch based on it. It's been remarkably popular, though some scenes work better than others.
As for my class at Paris 7, it's been remarkably helpful. It's sometimes incredibly overwhelming -- my teacher (also my mentor and coach) Anne often lets me lead exercises or parts of the class and will give me tips here and there. With the combination of watching the students closely, figuring out how to structure the class, and trying to give instructions and corrections in a language that still isn't perfectly familiar to me, it's exhausting!!
When I'm not teaching, I'm either on the metro or in dance class myself. I take three dance classes a week, two ballet and one contemporary. It's not enough, but it's what I can do right now. I'd have to pay for the next one myself and money's just a little tight at the moment, especially trying to plan ahead. I also still have my choreography workshop in addition. Soon I'll be adding on a directed research project, which rounds out the course list.
Yeah, I spend an incredible amount of time on the metro. While it's really cool -- it sure repeatedly ejects me from my bubble -- it does get tiring sometimes. Ah well -- can I really complain?
As the title of this post suggests, no. I can't.
In the time in between all that, I go out for drinks, for dinner. I meet friends, see films, have bitter espressos and amazing French food, eat bread. I go to soirées, I dance some more.
La vie est toujours belle.
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